Sumi H. Inkblot

This is NOT GOOD! No 'tiques AND it got second! I shall remedy this. =D "I don’t mean to miss communicate" Miss-communicate =P On the three "empowerments" I would suggest ...

Do you have something against comas? Because I'm not seeing many in here ;) Think of it like this: when you are talking aloud, the natural punctuation is when you ...

^ :echoes everybody: Prepare for re-cap of just about everything said =P Jon walked through the corridors casually avoiding students who were sat on the ground eating they’re lunches. Jon ...

I stood there holding a long silver sword. Looking at the two mutilated corpses on the ground, I wiped my bloody sword. The corpses were my families murderers, thoughts forgotten ...

What JC said =P I'm also noticing some inconsistencies- Firstly: You say that Jane -haha, remember the review on chappie 1?- lights a candle. So the reader things, "OK, middle ...

:P Thanks guys! The computer that has the story data is under use right now for a "emergency school assignment" according to my sibling :evil: so I think I'll update ...

This'll be a quick review 'cuz I gotta go. 8) When you're done with the story and make a "blah-section" (my term for it), use ***** for a line or ...

No reviews yet?!??! That's WAY too unfair. :? I shall fix this. The first thing that leapt out at me was the continuous "aye" rhyming scheme. :/twitch: A continuous rhyme ...

They stepped inside the old home, unsure of what was happening. The house had already had a weird feeling, but Chikako just made it worse. She seemed eager to tell ...

Okay. Echoing what everybody said about jagged sentences, shortness of chapter and what pages said about sentence construction. The one thing I haven't seen people remark about was her lack ...

"They silently swept through the jungle, their heavy armor not making a sound. With their stealth camo activated, they were like shadows, none of them could be seen. " That's ...

...wow. Aside from several grammatical errors and stuff of the like, your style is good. But there's something I can't place about this story that seems wrong. I suppose it ...

Okay, I'll basically echo what some have said before me: Run it through a spelling and grammar checker before posting -you'll get more replies on your ideas then your grammar ...

Aside from the capitalization issues and the inconsistent rhyming scheme, it's basically okay. The 3/6 stanzas are a little iffy....the "creeping" throws off the rhyme. Try "reaching" or "stalking". S

Ayumi-san, I'll be frank with you. This story is driving me crazy . ***SPOILERS AHOY, for all who have not been reading Naruto*** Your style and everything is okay, but ...